So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
