I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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