she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I have already put on my inside pants.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
