I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
