i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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