...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
