If i come over, it means nothing
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he fucked my hip out of place.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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