Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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