I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize