So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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