Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Plan B is the new Plan A
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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