i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
