Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
