She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize