So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
