If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
