my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
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