I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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