I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
