I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
