You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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