so that wasnt chicken after all
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
