A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize