Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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