Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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