i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
