I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
