I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
