i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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