There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
