Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize