There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
