Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
