its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
