A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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