Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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