The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Your penis caused this!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
