I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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