Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
