nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
we're making bets on your personal life
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
