I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
