Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
