my mouth tastes like poor choices
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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