I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
