Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
