there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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