your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Is it penis luge time yet?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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