I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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