Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
