just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
