halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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