Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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