im drinking this country out of the recession.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
