people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
