They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
