No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize